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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates If your fat it doesn't last very long."

"""Jesus honey, I don't know. How about a letter, a time of day, and something really Indian"" - M. Night Shyamalan's parents' naming process"

"Why are frogs no good at websurfing? Computers have them toad-ily confused."

"It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here... ...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer."

"Women are always complaining about wanting a boyfriend... And when I offer they act all repulsed and tell me to get out of their house before they call the cops for breaking in, women am I right?"

"A Lord of the Rings Joke How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died? He read it in the Hobbituary."

"Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies? Orphans."

"A man is chasing a talking emu... The Emu is taunting him, saying ""you can't catch me! I can run at 80 km/h, you can only manage 20!"" to which the the man replies ""You can run but you can't fly!"""

"[Jaden Smith at aquarium] ""...any questions?"" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? ""No"" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? ""Huh"" How Can Birds Be R"

"""just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse"" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago"