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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me she bought a really sexy dress just for me. I'm planning on wearing it this Friday."

"Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth."

"""You're never going to believe this, but my doctor just told me I've got a protein deficiency."" ""No whey!"""

"A joke about babies and cocaine What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"

"A professional limboer walks into a bar. He was disqualified from the competition."

"Me: ""I'm trying to type the word 'fucking.'"" My iPhone: ""Huh? Surely you mean 'ducking.'"" Me: ""No, I mean 'fucking'."" My iPhone: ""Bullshot."""

"Why did no one laugh at the hot dogs joke? Because it was too cheesy. I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time."

"Did you know that every frog used to have at least some polish genes? In fact, they were a tad-pole."

"I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute. Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs."

"Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE. Dentist: Please just floss more"