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Joke of the Day

"Bar joke What has two thumbs an craves a blow job? This guy!"

"Doesn't say much for humanity that the most popular are also the least interesting."

"Ain't no party like a missing child search party Cause a missing child search party don't stop."

"Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him ""Elvis the pelvis""? Because he had a brother named Enos."

"""Mommy, I don't wanna grow up and die!"" ""Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really."""

"Don't assume my personal politics because of a tweet. Trust me, I believe ALL politicians are equally full of shit."

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"My wife had the best Mother's Day I didn't ask her for sex, not even once."

"Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading."

"Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill."