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Joke of the Day
"""Mommy, I don't wanna grow up and die!"" ""Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really."""
Next Joke
"Our 2-year-old is entertaining everyone at the restaurant by screeching like a seagull every fifteen seconds."
"So my friend Greg recently changed his name to Gregory. I swear to god he's gonna re-Greg it."
"A network engineer goes to the doctor...... He told the doctor, ""It hurts when IP"""
"Things I haven't seen in a while: 1) the 2yo I'm babysitting today 2) a man 3) my waist-line 4) my imaginary goat, Bill 5) my sanity"
"Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas"
"I was dating a strong, independent, black doorknob recently. She was quite difficult to handle"
"I too like my women the same way as I like my coffee... Constantly berating me making me wish I was dead."
"Caller: My goodness Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up I can't understand you. You should really take something for that cold. Operator: Good idea. I'll take the rest of the day off!"
"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because It was eggshausted"