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Joke of the Day

"Close your eyes. Now imagine a peaceful meadow. That meadow represents your betrayal. I told you to close your eyes, but you kept reading."

"Where do bee's go to the bathroom? At the BP station."

"Yo momma's so fat... LIGO detected her gravitational wave."

"What kind of organization is Atheism? Non-prophet."

"I guess it was George Michaels...... Last Christmas."

"If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him."

"the difference between driving drunk and high drunk drivers run red lights stoned drivers wait for stop signs to turn green"

"""My Heart Mustard Go On"" - Celine Dijon"

"Harper Lee's new novel is a Mexican spinoff of her classic... Tequila Mockingbird"

"Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working."