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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't. They just beat up the room for being dark and arrest the light for being broke."

"What's the difference between Hillary and a piece of fruit? [deleted]"

"A priests asks the convicted murderer...... A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""

"My bank account has 7 figures but 6 of them are to the right of the decimal point."

"Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail? She couldn't stand making Kermitments"

"Ray Rice and Janay Rice go together..... like peanut butter..and whatever punches peanut butter in the face"

"I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly because of her poor choice in men."

"What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable? ...what's tomato with you?!"

"For some of us the internet should have probably been the best man at our wedding if we were being honest."

"So Pete Rose is allowed back in Baseball, huh.... Pete...Pete.....Pete. Those rednecks love Pete. He's the white man's OJ but with less murder and robbery."