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Joke of the Day

"I have started a band called Free Beer. When people see our sign 'Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM' I'm sure everyone is going to be there."

"I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem."

"What do you call a strong woman with a successful career and family life? A human being you fucking sexist."

"When your girlfriend is PMS'ing, cheer her up by showing her that ""totally weird"" text you got from your ex last night."

"I've always been the kind of person who likes to think outside of the box. Although it has harmed my career as a goalkeeper."

"If you are looking for a way to describe olive oil, how about ""yellow and you can't drink it"""

"Two guys walk into a bar.... You would think the first guy would've warned the other."

"Why does OSHA hate porn? It's nsfw"

"What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home."

"I sponsor one of those poor kids on TV. He sends me nice letters, I mail him pictures of me smiling, throwing away food."