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Joke of the Day

"SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about"

"I don't have Great Expectations for my son. But I got him the other 13 Dicken's Books."

"Find myself in the need for some really despicable jokes. Come on Reddit, do your worst. What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A Pedophile."

"Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you."

"At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn't be feeding them this crap"

"I think the most profound advice my father ever told me was... ""Stop using me in your bullshit stories."""

"What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ? A Gorilla"

"What's brown and rhymes with ""snoop""? Dr. Dre"

"I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over"

"I like to intentionally barge into guys wearing camo and then look around bewildered like I have no idea what I just ran into."