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Joke of the Day

"There seems to be a direct correlation between how many rosaries you have hanging on your rearview and how shitty a driver you are."

"Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A: The tame way -- unique up on him."

"I got an e-mail saying At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought, ""That's just spam."""

"Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas? A: Highway 55."

"I just found out I'm colour blind The diagnosis came completely out of the green. (Courtesy of a family member)"

"I'm no racist I love black people so much I stopped tipping."

"I hate it when I get my days mixed up and I accidentally take my stupid wife out instead of my girlfriend."

"What's the most sensitive protein? EMOglobin."

"if darth vader hadn't gotten a job working for palpatine, what would have been his backup plan? anakin dogwalker"

"*runs my fingers thru your hair* *tightens grip* *pulls your head back* *looks you in the eye* Me: WTF do you mean you ate the last donut?"