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Joke of the Day
"Numbers don't lie but they don't tell the truth either. They're NUMBERS."
Next Joke
"Why are defense lawyers the best lovers? Because they're great at getting you off."
"I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies... I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)"
"My last girlfriend was a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody."
"My friend gets pissed when they call his phone a droid I told him: it's **An**droid, after all."
"I was told to put two planks together I totally nailed it."
"My favorite prank phone-call gag when I was a child: Call store, ask, ""Do you have cotton-balls?"" After confirmation that the store has cotton-balls, ""Does it tickle when you walk?"""
"My neutered cat has such a tiny girly voice Must be a catstratti"
"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."
"What says the egg to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick"