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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why people get so upset about failed pregnancies... I mean, the baby is still born. (sorry)"

"What's Steve Irwin's least favorite movie? *Ray* (Sorry... Too soon)"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."

"Getting the girl isn't as easy as they make it look in the movies. They don't trip as often, and when you do catch up they get the machete away from you. :\"

"TRAVEL TIP: When you are alone in a hotel room with two beds, that means one bed is for eating on and one bed is for sleeping on."

"I discovered a joke that no one in r/funny has ever heard ..? The joke is That pirates like the letters C and R"

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

"Why do people put orange clothes on their kids at pumpkin patches? I almost picked a fat one up until it screamed."

"If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on too."

"I wish my penis felt the same way my nose currently does. Because then it too would be raw from having been blown all day."