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Joke of the Day
"My friend gets pissed when they call his phone a droid I told him: it's **An**droid, after all."
Next Joke
"When I first saw you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you."
"Maybe stop asking 20yo beauty queens how to solve problems the government hasn't even been able to figure out in 200 years?"
"4yo: let me smell your eyelashes! Me:...ok 4yo:smells like spiders. What if they eat your face? Me: this is how nightmares are born."
"What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head? Down for the count!"
"Alcohol is a perfect solvent. It dissolves marriages, families and careers."
"My butcher is very rude I asked him for a cut of pork and he gave me the cold shoulder"
"An atheist, a vegan and a crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."
"How much for the vacation home? Sir, this is a coffin."
"Why was the Amish girl excommunicated? Too Mennonite."