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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I play a game on my computer, the screen goes dark and I see my own reflection in the screen and wonder what I am doin with my life ..then the next level starts."

"Ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? Nope. --- That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"There hasn't been a sexual assault that didn't have some Ed Hardy fabric as evidence since 2006."

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"""hoes before hos"" --the belief that your garden's needs should always come before your bitch's."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a whiz? Because the P is silent!"

"What's the best way to get the aristocracy out of France? A chopper"

"The fabric of our lives? Why so epic, Cotton?"

"*Watches sad movie* Wife: I like happy endings. Me: me too, but you have to tip more. Wife:... Me: twitter would have liked it."

"I join any line I see if it's long enough. All those people can't be wrong!"