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Joke of the Day
"I was told to put two planks together I totally nailed it."
Next Joke
"My 5-year-old daughter hates it when I call her the ""C"" word... cranky. She starts crying, screaming and stomping around. It's at this point I have to tell her: ""Stop acting like a little cunt!"""
"Did you hear about the thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's cock."
"What do you call a Trump wall that's politically corrupt? A gate."
"It's like my nana always said, ""If you choose your friends wisely, you'll never have good drugs."""
"I find gardeners to be very nice people They're really down to earth."
"What do you call a sharp witted man, that knows many languages, and is skilled at giving oral? A cunning linguist."
"Just got back from Chernobyl And boy are my legs arms!"
"What did the male elephant say to his buddy when a female elephant passed by? ""Thirty six thousand, twenty four thousand, thirty six thousand, wow!"""
"[pirate ship] Pirate: Walk the plank Me: *struts down like nobody's business* Pirate: wait come back that was awesome you're one of us now"