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Joke of the Day

"What did the fish say when he accidentally swam into a wall? Oh dam"

"What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three? Nothing."

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A Baboom!"

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

"Sometimes i look up at the stars, the sky and wonder... ... Where the FUCK did my roof go?"

"Why were the strawberries sad? Because their mother was in a jam!"

"Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over."

"The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw."

"What's the most important part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"What did the Belgian Nazis call themselves? The Waffle S.S."