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Joke of the Day

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a booger that you've been squishing for awhile? Boograr"
"Did you all hear about this morning after pill? Or what I like to call breakfast in bed."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Avalanche Barbie ...buried in 16 feet of snow"
"[ first date ] Me. Do you take drugs? Him. I never touch them. Me. Perfect. Can I have a urine sample?"
"""I love all quilts, regardless of quality."" - blanket statement"
"Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation."
"How can you tell if a witch is on a diet? Her food is potion-controlled."
"What's the difference between your Pacman high score and your child? I haven't beaten your high score."
"How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments? Very Djently."