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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes i look up at the stars, the sky and wonder... ... Where the FUCK did my roof go?"

"Take a pistol 1. Take a pistol 2. Point it to your head 3. Pull the trigger WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND"

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"Why are Asian women so excited about Tuesday? It's Erection Day."

"The best time to propose at a restaurant is right after you order but before you pull up to the window."

"How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling."

"When are they going to drug test the audience of ""The Price Is Right.""? No one should be that happy."

"The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that ""nudie mag they found in the woods"" experience. #culture"

"*dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws and a comma is the pause at the end of a clause."