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Joke of the Day

"british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]"

"My girlfriend's angry because I got drunk and did a shit on the roof. Please tell me, how can I wipe the slate clean?"

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer"" from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"How does a nun lose her virginity? Dresses up as an altar boy"

"What part of a football ground is never the same ? The changing rooms !"

"Romeo and juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13 & 17 year old that caused 6 deaths. #readtheplay"

"A: My bag is getting heavier B: Why? A: Because I don't smoke... B: How does it matter?? A: ""It ain't got any lighter"""

"What do gay horses eat? *HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY*"

"i'm the kind of person who would pretend i don't know your name but actually know what you been up to for the past 5 years per facebook."

"[Joker has Robin tied up] ""If you want to see the Boy Wonder alive, come to the old-"" ""Nope. Also he's allergic to peanuts. Like real bad."""