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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's angry because I got drunk and did a shit on the roof. Please tell me, how can I wipe the slate clean?"

"You know, if I slouch in my chair at just the right angle, my fat rolls into a pretty impressive 3-pack'. Heck, I'm half way to sexy town "

"Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?"

"How do you kill a fox? Cut off a leg and make it run across Canada"

"My cum smells like bleach Too bad it didn't kill my ex."

"Jeez make one joke about putting cyanide in someone's food and suddenly they don't want you to cook for them anymore"

"I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food."

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water? Bob."

"What do you get when you cross NWA and Young Money? Dr. Drake."