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Joke of the Day

"A: My bag is getting heavier B: Why? A: Because I don't smoke... B: How does it matter?? A: ""It ain't got any lighter"""

"Yesterday I saw an ad that said ""radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down"""

"A German Dad Joke So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, ""Yes, it's called October."""

"What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo."

"What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend? Have I got an ax to grind with you."

"There are two things I hate in every politician: their face."

"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."

"What did Caesar say when was in agreement? I came. I saw. I concurred."

"I was trying to think of a pun about herbs and fish But it was neither the thyme nor plaice"

"Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Does. Not. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has.Asthma"