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Joke of the Day

"You see, son, when two girls love each other very much and they have a cup..."

"Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather."

"So this guy comes into a bar... no, wait - it was a horse. So this guy comes into a horse...."

"Guys, I don't think we should drink so much yesterday."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper up to a mile away."

"Got really excited when my wife said she was going to teach me something new in the bedroom until she started folding a fitted sheet."

"Always be sure to pay the Priest who performs the exorcism on your property. Or they'll come back and re-possess your house."

"Why can't silverware go on good road trips? Because every time they set out, they eventually come to a fork in the road."

"ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds"

"I think I'm starting to see why it's a bad idea to give Trump access to nuclear launch codes... He'll just fire them"