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Joke of the Day
"I'm only leaving the house today so my selfies will have new backgrounds."
Next Joke
"My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining."
"A blonde leans against a tree and the tree collapses... The cleverer give in."
"A teacher walks into a bar Guy: can I buy you a drink? Teacher: I don't know, CAN you?"
"I just realized that I get most of my news from Twitter. So... someone remind me what Pres Bieber's health care bill will do to your mom?"
"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"
"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."
"About the blind man that took up parachuting. He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't."
"What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !"
"A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome ...and call it Touch Downs."