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Joke of the Day

"Im the guy that says ""Is he bothering you?"" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away."

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free"

"Just heard a woman compare different products by calling the last one ""even differenter."" I am now embarrassed to be human."

"People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate' ...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog."

"Engineer Manager joke Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife? ""Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."""

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming... They Don't Know I'm Only Using Blanks."

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"League of Legends Solo Queue"

"I heard diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans. (Ba dum tss)"