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Joke of the Day

"Woozy woman comes up ""OMG I'm-I'm gonna faint!"" ""Go ahead, knock yourself out"""

"I shouldn't have plugged my iPhone into the PC at the Kitchen It's now in the sync."

"People who buy copious amounts of everything before a blizzard: Is there nothing in your house every other day of the year?"

"Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase... ...so I could unzip your genes."

"When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"What do you get when a fat guy and a butterface have sex? A Burka! He covers his body, and she covers her face!"

"[medusa's husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]"

"I really enjoy my morning expresso... ... it's always esploding with flavour."

"Facebook memories are a great way to see how fat you've gotten."

"Hate is a strong word... I prefer the term ""want to stab them thirty-seven times in the chest."""