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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"Accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night. Going for a crap could spell trouble."

"What do you call an election in Syria? A civil war"

"So I was driving home from work tonight, I saw a woman texting whilst driving. It infuriated me so much I threw my beer bottle at her car."

"[rolls a boiled egg down the bar to a hot girl] me - ""that was an accident can I have my egg back please"""

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard"

"Whether you love him or hate him... ...Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years."

"I knew a guy who bowled a three hundred and one How do you bowl a 301? Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost?"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 30 percent off"

"I found a place where recycling rate is 98% Reddit."