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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when a fat guy and a butterface have sex? A Burka! He covers his body, and she covers her face!"

"My voicemail message is a 20 second recording of me sighing."

"Why can't Donald Trump get elected? Because no Juan will vote for him."

"I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs. I'll be in my lab"

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?"

"Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion."

"Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meets boy in park; Confucius say lucky boy is boy who parks meat in girl."

"why are there fences around graveyards? people are just dying to get in there these days."

"My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons."