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Joke of the Day

"People who buy copious amounts of everything before a blizzard: Is there nothing in your house every other day of the year?"

"What happens if an elephant comes through your letterbox? Swim for it."

"How often does Mary see her special friend? Periodically."

"Two Jews walk into a bar... they buy it."

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"

"If April Showers bring May Flowers, What do May Flowers bring? Histamines"

"I was going to post a gay joke.... Butt fuck it"

"To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?"

"[stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT'S THE WIFI PASSWORD"

"I keep my friends clothes and my enemies toaster. As a result, they're now all my enemies, but they're naked & having cereal for brekkie."