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Joke of the Day

"Hate is a strong word... I prefer the term ""want to stab them thirty-seven times in the chest."""

"Excited for Downton Abbey tonight. According to DVR description, ""Lord Grantham gets pissy when a lady challenges the class system."" Oh boy!"

"And on the third day, Jesus came back. Because he accidentally left one of his edge trimmers in my backyard."

"Have you heard of the band 150 megabytes? No? Not surprised, they don't have any gigs yet."

"What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby? The redditor never gets gold"

"I'm surprised ABC hasn't resolved the Healthcare Crisis with a new reality show. Extreme Makeover: Universal Healthcare Edition."

"You are just like Magic Johnson. But without the basketball skills or the height or actually being anything like him, you just have AIDS."

"I love the metric system. It's the best by an absolute 1.6km"

"What do you call a robotic prostitution ring? Nuts and bolts."

"How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road? It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!"