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Joke of the Day

"I shouldn't have plugged my iPhone into the PC at the Kitchen It's now in the sync."

"I saw a midget carrying a TV to his car I asked him: ""Do you need some help carrying that plasma?"" He said: ""Fuck off asshole, it's an iPad"""

"What did the dick say to the balls? You two wait outside."

"Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car."

"A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD"

"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."

"Blacksmith asked, do you have any experience in horseshoeing? ""Yes, I once told a horse to fuck off."""

"A few years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."

"I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened."

"I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience."