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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? ""You heard the song I was playing?"" Cop: Yes I did, and now HERE I AM ""ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"""

"Beach people are fickle. One minute you're the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they're terrified of the Lord of Seagulls."

"Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money."

"Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary? He ran out of patients."

"Sometimes I ask my husband to put away the clean dishes so I can play kitchen scavenger hunt next time I need something."

"What did one John say to the other John? ""What's the matter? You look flushed!"""

"There's so many things trendy now that haven't been popular for a century now... Beards, suspenders, home-births, natural produce, measles..."

"Why George RR Martin doesn't utilize suicide bombers in GoT? Because he does not have enough virgins left in the story"

"Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?"

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, ""It smells fishy around here."""