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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I ask my husband to put away the clean dishes so I can play kitchen scavenger hunt next time I need something."

"Did you gu[FLASH AD]ys read that ar[ROLLOVER FLASH AD]ticle on Wi[FLASHING FLASH AD]red on how the iPad really need[MOVING FLASH AD]s Flash?"

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down."

"My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz"

"My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol"

"I can't stand Russian Dolls... They're always so full of themselves!"

"What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm? Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour."

"Why didn't the construction worker like to get wet? Because he didn't drywall."

"Why George RR Martin doesn't utilize suicide bombers in GoT? Because he does not have enough virgins left in the story"

"Last night, during sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move... She was like, ""What the hell are you doing!?"" And I was like, ""Hush baby, I saw this on PornHub....it's called 'buffering'."""