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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?"

"What did Syd Barrett leave in his mother's bathroom? A saucerful of secretions"

"How many angels can a pinhead dance on? To hold up their pants."

"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"

"I did a Marquez impression in the hood... ... I was the magical realest."

"What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor? Dead Pan."

"the only exercise this month ive done is running out of money"

"""I just got engaged!"" -- Starship Enterprise"

"I can do something that Einstein can't. Breathe."

"I was watching ""Who wants to be a Millionaire?"" on Zimbabwean TV."