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Joke of the Day

"Beach people are fickle. One minute you're the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they're terrified of the Lord of Seagulls."

"tonight at the bar, ask a woman if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes, hand that lucky lady a Starbucks gift card and walk away"

"Jurassic Park- making you afraid of vibrating water since '93."

"""Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"""

"A horse hiking in deep space. Star Trek: Deep Space Neigh."

"What do you call a bodybuilder that can't sing? Muscle tone deaf."

"What is the strongest bird ? A crane !"

"Whats the funniest joke you know? You."

"[religion] Why did Jesus die on the cross? he forgot the safe word"

"My phone corrects ""haha"" to ""hahaha"", so all my friends think they're 50% funnier than they actually are."