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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning about his brothers passing? He found the news hard to swallow."

"Whats the most disappointing thing for dads on Christmas? When he gets a sweater, but he was hoping for a screamer or a squirter."

"Do you know why God created atheists? Haha. Good one."

"How do you start an Ethiopian rave? Staple some food to the ceiling."

"Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night? Wild Twerky!"

"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing But you mean your mother.......I mean another"

"Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker? Because he overcame the dark side"

"Oh you're a jogger? Good for you. I just burned 3000 calories in under 30 minutes. Can't believe I forgot that pizza was in the oven."

"What weapon is most feared by knights? A can opener."