168779

Joke of the Day

"Do you know why God created atheists? Haha. Good one."

"What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner? One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger."

"[having heart attack] HELP...CAN'T...MOVE ME: Dude, are you ok?! [faintly] CALL...ME...A...DOCTOR ME: Oh, sorry!! Doctor, are you ok?!"

"Success is just like being pregnant."

"I used to play teeball... I stopped playing after I struck out"

"Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was ""reduced fat"" so basically it was like going to the gym."

"Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas"

"I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night. He must have been really into the boos! Happy October!"

"What do rattlesnakes and condoms have in common? I don't fuck with either of them!"

"What's the difference between communism and capitalism? In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite."