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Joke of the Day

"Me: And then, for absolutely no reason, they changed the stars to hearts! We were all so mad Syrian Refugee: omg please send me back"

"My friend said her neighbors came into her restaurant for a book club, turns out it was for a BDSM club. . . I guess people bond over different things."

"Reasons why it's bad that Justin Bieber is retiring: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5."

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"Why did the Origami Artist never win a poker match? Because he will always fold."

"Someone just stole my lemon loaf.... Out of everything that happened today, they really took the cake"

"Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?"

"My current girlfriend is very similar to my last one... For instance, neither of them exist."

"Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!"