79251

Joke of the Day

"Not all my tweets are true. For example if ""sex"" and ""lack"" are not in the same tweet then the polygraph will probably run out of ink."

"What are a musician's favourite letters? P and O."

"What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady? but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?"

"Your mom and a washing machine... Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?? The washing machine doesnt follow me around for a week after I drop a load in it..."

"Wanna know who I Netflix and Chilled with?"

"The Energizer bunny as been arrested! He was charged with battery. EDIT: ""H"" key on my damn keyborad."

"Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it"

"What do <school name> cheerleaders and a shotgun have in common? Give them 2 cocks and they'll blow."

"A man goes to the restroom, and leaves his drink with a note ""I spit into it"", to avoid it getting stolen He comes back and finds another note: ""me too"""

"Turns out you have to *tell* a guy you're going out, otherwise you just end up standing on his doorstep wondering why he's in his sweats."