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Joke of the Day

"Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it"

"Did you hear about the autistic guy that sat on his food at Fuddrucker's? Turns out he just had Aspergers."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. Am I doing this right?"

"Why don't lions eat clowns? Because they taste funny"

"Why did Mr. T reject Marxism? Because Marx said ""You have nothing to lose but your chains."" *^(Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei - 1848)*"

"Why are black fathers always missing? Because white cops always shoot them for no reason."

"I think it's funny how I can sleep right through my blaring alarm clock but I'll wake up to the slightest phantom vibrations from my phone."

"What kind of dog is the most colorful? A paint Bernard!"

"[william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!"

"The first rule of fight club is to ask her, ""Is that what you're wearing?"""