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Joke of the Day

"My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money."

"I like to finish other people's sentences because my version is better."

"""Sir can I ask you why you're smoking TWO huge cops?"" Blunt, i'm *turns to camera* Doing this tweet wrong *Blunt just stares in confusion*"

"You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!!"

"I hate East German Cars I mean, the Trabant was a load of old pants."

"Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep."

"Get a slab of bread dough. Wrap dental floss around it. Congratulations, you've seen me naked."

"I spend most of my time waiting for the next big thing to hate."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force."