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Joke of the Day

"What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force."

"[christmas lights are being put up] Every moth ever: oh hell yeah"

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who lost his job? They gave him the axe, he just couldn't hack it."

"In god we trust Everyone else must pay cash"

"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"

"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."

"Which U.S. state abbreviation is the best? I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK."

"Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say ""Bach bach bach!"""

"Tooth sale Two buck teeth for 1$ buck"

"I'm certainly no authority, but if you want to avoid the muffin top you probably shouldn't put size 8 jeans on a size 12 girl."