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Joke of the Day
"I like to finish other people's sentences because my version is better."
Next Joke
"Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016 Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision"
"What did constipated Yoda say to his fecal impaction? ""I shit you not."""
"My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, but when I do she's all, ""Stop it, you're driving too fast! We're on a bridge!"""
"My girlfriend just replied to my text saying she is up for a threesome tonight! Now I am anxiously waiting for my wife to reply."
"A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,""stop, you're putin me to sleep"""
"Knock, knock, Come in."
"My girlfriend said, ""We should make love like they do in the movies."" So I shoved my dick in her ass and came on her face. She got upset. Apparently we watch different movies."
"'Five dollars for one question!' said the girl to the fortune-teller. 'That's very expensiveisn't it ?' 'Next!'"
"Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth? Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard."