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Joke of the Day
"[robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going"
Next Joke
"What did the Mother say to her son when she saw him eating cookies for breakfast? Your Dad and I are getting a divorce."
"Why does Dr.Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."
"I want to make a movie where RoboCop gets laid off due to budget cuts and has to work at a Waffle House."
"It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane."
"The men who sarcastically ask women if they're on their period are completely ruining it for the rest of us who are genuinely curious."
"Adulthood - Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder."
"When you wish upon a star ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams."
"What would you call a democrat and republican coming together as one in the bible? A Bernie Bush"
"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The Head Nurse."