20842

Joke of the Day

"When you wish upon a star ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams."

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"Know why New Yorkers are so cynical? For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."
"There's a one-eyed doctor round my way that gives out free body parts. He gives me the willies."
"A duck walked into a bar... And was quickly escorted out as no animals were allowed in the bar."
"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Udder Destruction. I swear this joke is funnier in person. Try it, trust me. Panty dropper for sure."
"Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from? I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez."
"One of the best ways to disguise the sound of a fart is to do it during the 4 claps in the Friends theme song."
"Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]"
"What do you call a black man flying a plane A pilot"
"I dropped my phone when my friend accidently bumped my arm. It didn't break but for a moment I saw her whole life flash in front of my eyes."