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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News ...A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche"

"I went to a zoo, but they only had one animal there. That animal was was a dog. It was a shitzu."

"Haters gonna hate, thermometers gonna thermom"

"Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg."

"I will force my way into an inside joke and kill the fun before I let two people laugh about something I don't get."

"This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it."

"When an ad says critics are ""raving"" over a movie, I picture them all in a dark warehouse twirling glowsticks & giving each other back rubs."

"Oh you're a foodie? You like food? Wow you are very unique. Personally I'm a foodie but I'm also a breathie. Love to breathe."

"Have the day off when the SO comes home, ""Have you been on reddit all day!?"" Look at the clock, ""Not yet."""

"Who wants to start CatRoulette.com with me?!?!"