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Joke of the Day

"Breaking News ...A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche"

"What does a cannibal get when he comes home late to dinner? The cold shoulder."

"How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby ? You can feel his presents ..."

"I heard Steven Spielberg is directing a film about a fat alien... It's called ""Eat-T, The Extra Cholesterol""."

"""Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza."" - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late"

"giv a man a fish adn he'll say ""wat is this i ordered a mcflurry"" teach a man to fish adn he'll say ""how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"""

"Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers."

"A zombie ate the brain of a taekwondo master. The zombie said, ""Mmmm. That had a nice kick to it."""

"Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea? It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make"

"My girlfriend left me I came home to find her packing her things. ""I just found out you're a pedophile"", she explained. So I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a twelve year old""."