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Joke of the Day

"Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg."

"Houses If the Red House is red and the Blue House is Blue, what color is the Green House? ... Brown. I accidentally broke the sprinkler system."

"Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it."

"My Mom asked me to help her sign up to Twitter so I did and she's really enjoying Google Plus."

"My alcohol addiction was so bad i used to drink hand sanitiser! Im clean now!"

"If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell"

"Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*"

"I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on."

"why didn't the american leek want to talk to the japanese leek? because it was negi"

"What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire."