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Joke of the Day

"There's an Italian town where pasta is a currency A penne for their thoughts."

"[Flight Attendant]: Would you like some headphones? [Passenger]: Yes please, but how'd you know my name was Phones?"

"I took my BMW to the mechanic today after a strange light came on. I asked him what it was, as I've never seen it before. Apparently it was called an indicator, does anyone know what it's for?"

"Newt Gingrich is the result of leaving a bobble head doll by a radioactive power plant."

"All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese."

"If you watch Intervention backwards, it's about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion."

"The local radio station is having a contest. First place wins a week in New Jersey. Second place wins 2 weeks in New Jersey."

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"

"My ""snooze"" button should just be called the ""nope, no yoga today"" button."

"Q: Why was the chicken happy? A: Everything was eggcellent."