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Joke of the Day

"[Flight Attendant]: Would you like some headphones? [Passenger]: Yes please, but how'd you know my name was Phones?"

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"""No, Dad, Vampire Weekend is not like Shark Week..."""
"Congratulations on passing your test! You are HIV-positive"
"Rap is 75% Crap."
"[Request] Can I have a joke about early 20th century writing, poetry, or T.S. Eliot? Not a joke...just a request to the more talented. Thanks in advance!"
"My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn."
"Anybody here named Jeff? Jeff: Yes Geoff: Yeos"
"What do you call a grenade thrown into a restaurant in France? French Toast."
"What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind...? ""At least I'm not black"""
"Stephen Hawking walks into a bar haha just kidding"