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Joke of the Day
"My ""snooze"" button should just be called the ""nope, no yoga today"" button."
Next Joke
"I came home to find my best friend fucking my girlfriend Bad dog, you know you're not allowed on the furniture."
"It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart."
"At least you'll be able to watch Jeremy Clarkson on Dave for the next 12 years."
"The only thing I want written on my tombstone is ""I'm standing right behind you."""
"Is this Love? by Midas Wellbee"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arfur ! Arfur who ? Arfur got !"
"Please don't share 9/11 jokes, I lost my dad on 9/11 He took over 2500 infidels with him"
"[checks window] [locks door] [starts to tweet] shrek was a d- [FBI agents burst into the room and leap on me] shrEK WAS A DOC UMENTArY"
"Q: Why did Ariel wear seashells? A: Because she grew out of her B shells."