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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why was the chicken happy? A: Everything was eggcellent."

"Nice guys don't finish last, fat guys do."

"what's the opposite of a Mexican? a Mexican't"

"The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother."

"I think the blue states should get the taco trucks first, and the red states have to wait, because elections have consequences."

"Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep."

"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"Hey guys, don't you just hate it when you're woken up in the middle of the night for sex? can't wait to get out of prison."

"How much weed is the appropriate amount to give as a gift at a baby shower?"