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Joke of the Day
"what is the disease that killed princes diana? Car pole tunnel syndrome"
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"Sometimes I think to myself... and then other times I don't"
"It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found"
"You know, Hitler must have been a pretty great artist. There are a ton of museums dedicated to his work, after all."
"How does someone stop ISIS? Change their name to past tense, WASWAS."
"Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison? The Headlines in the paper read ""Small medium at large"""
"Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops? He had Schwimmer's ear."
"A new survey shows that 90% of men masturbate in the shower, the other 10% sing. Know what they sing? Yeah, me neither."
"[fakes allergic reaction at dinner] Me: I-I'm- [clutches chest & falls to floor] I'm gonna need you to pay for me"
"God once put his dick in a box as a gift and called it the Omnipresent."